Why Apple Should Rule the World

 This morning, I got up extra-early (for a Saturday anyway) to make the trek to the Apple store to speak to someone about a few glitches I was experiencing with my iPhone 3G. For the last few weeks, I had been unable to end phone calls because it would freeze mid-call, refusing to respond when I hit the end button. As you can imagine, this was especially annoying if the person I was calling didn't pick up, in which case I would either have to leave a ridiculously long message worth of static and other ambient purse noises or turn the phone off and on. Every time. Then, the speed dial window started freezing up, so I would have to scroll through my entire address book every time I wanted to make a phone call. Sure, these seem like minor annoyances, but I decided to give Apple a try to see if there was anything they could do. After all, I was able to prove that my phone was malfunctioning on its own accord; its behavior was in no way related to how I had treated it. So I headed to the Glendale Galleria and decided to stop at H&M before dealing with the crowd at Apple.

 While I was standing in line to pay, I decided to finish up some emails I had neglected earlier this morning. When it was my turn at the register, I went to put my phone back in my purse and fumbled with the armful of delightful finds I was attempting to purchase, dropping the phone in the process. It seemed to fall in slow motion, and I heard a very loud crunch as it hit the ground face down. There was a collective gasp from the line behind me, and when I picked it up a few glass shards crumbled onto my fingers.
A massive spider web of cracks began on the left side and continued over more than half of the screen, and scrolling was dangerous at best. Never mind the irritation of trying to read between the cracks, but what about the possibility of glass getting into my ear? No bueno. But how was I going to explain this to Apple? Would they believe that the incident had occurred that morning and was in no way related to the internal glitches on the phone? I decided to find out: after all, I would need a new phone regardless, and I thought there might even be a chance that they would let me upgrade ahead of schedule.


I walked into the already- bustling Apple store, and I was immediately intimidated. There were so many people, all of them demanding intimate attention from the few sales clerks in royal blue tee shirts. My spirits were a little , and I thought of myself as just another bee swarming around a limited supply of sweet technological honey. But wait! Suddenly, one of the clerks caught my dazed expression and asked if he could help me. I explained what had happened, and he actually seemed to believe me! He even helped me set up an appointment at the Genius Bar, which is Apple's version of Geek Squad. Hmm, I thought. An appointment, how very civilized! I strolled around the store for 15 minutes while waiting for my scheduled time, and I couldn't help but notice the diversity of the staff there. I had been picturing Scandinavian-esque people wearing silver jumpsuits and zipping around on Segways, doling out technology to the highest bidders.
But that was not the case: not only were there numerous bilingual staff members, but a few even had neon pink and red hair, and at least half had visible (if not very visible) tattoos. I started to relax, feeling a lot more at home with a lot of different types of people rather than the uppity Apple staff snobs I had envisioned.

When it was time for my appointment, they called my name and I stepped up to the bar. A sweet and knowledgeable gentleman greeted me warmly, politely listening to my iPhone saga as he entered my information into his Macbook. He told me that usually Apple did not replace phones for free when so they had been as thoroughly damaged, but that they would do it this one time because the glitch was occurring before I dropped it. I tried to finagle an upgrade out of the deal instead, but he said that they couldn't do that. I walked away with a brand new 3G without having to fill out any paperwork, and all I had to do was plug it into my computer to restore its memory. Of course, it would have been nice to upgrade to the iPhone 4, but I have to respect them for not giving in. I mean, I was practically throwing $200 at them to upgrade, and they respectfully declined. We're so used to expecting (if not outright demanding) instant gratification, it feels nice to actually have to wait for something. I know I'll appreciate the iPhone 4 once I've paid my dues with the 3G, which after all is one powerful little machine. And I know I'll continue to appreciate Apple, its unrivaled customer service, and of course: the value of a proper iPhone case.