Dear Beyonce,
I came across your music video "Video Phone" featuring Lady Gaga, and I have so many questions for you!
1. Did you watch the final cut of the video before it was released? If so, did you experience any headaches or dizziness due to the constantly flashing images? Because I did.
2. When are your lyrics going to reflect events in your actual life and the real world? For example:
"I want to make sure you remember me" Well no duh, you're Beyonce. Kind of hard to forget.
"You say you like my bag and the color of my nails" So, you're a multi-million dollar pop icon and all you have to talk about is your purse and nails?
3. What is the real difference between this song/video and your previous work?
Catchy hook? Check.
Predictable, uninspiring backbeat? Check.
Scanty, futuristic attire? Check.
Suggestive props and poses? Check.
Hip thrusts and crotch grabs? Double check.
4. Why on earth would you include Lady Gaga? You are already a megastar in your own right; you don’t need to tack her onto the bill. She looks like the illegitimate child of Iggy Pop and Courtney Love, and standing next to you just highlights how mannish she is. And the fact that you’re dressed exactly alike in unflattering white leotards doesn’t help. The tandem dance number at the end is painful to watch: Gaga is about as nimble as a baby giraffe with a broken ankle.
5. I suppose what I’m getting at is the ultimate question for female pop stars: is this considered empowerment? Or just sexploitation? Is there another, more official-sounding made up word we can apply to this phenomenon? I'm not saying you shouldn't be allowed to do what you want, but who's really calling the shots here? All I see is an incredibly talented young woman dressing and acting like a bimbo. Cliche? Yes. True? Absolutely.
6. Can you please detach yourself from the current crazy parade of starlets (ahem Kesha) and set your sights a little bit higher? What happened to the brilliant acting in ‘Dreamgirls’ and all of the songs you performed to perfection for the 2009 Oscars?
Lastly, I just want to personally thank you for 'Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)'. Thank you for reminding us that one of the most recognizable women in the world is still bound and determined to be bound to a man. Sure, I should have seen it coming after the atrociously servile Destiny’s Child song ‘Cater 2 U’, but this is ridiculous. Doesn't your (previous) immense success as a single female suggest the exact opposite perspective of all of these songs? I sure hoped so.
Disappointedly yours,
laurel Kathleen
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